Dating while in aa

07-Feb-2020 10:45

I was young, and coming out felt like entering into a heartbreaking catch-22.

I had given up on ever feeling comfortable looking feminine, which quickly gave way to fear that I’d never look “convincingly” masculine. Online dating does make it a little easier to find partners.

He seemed okay with my decision at the time (probably because his plate was pretty full), and I didn’t see him for months after that.

As a single mom, I already knew I could support myself and my 11-year-old child, so I felt confident that I didn’t need him–or anyone–to help me raise my second baby. Part of me wanted to get back out there to show my ex I had moved on, and it was fun and nice to have the emotional support of a partner every now and then.

But I wasn’t necessarily looking for anything serious.

One of my friends set me up before she even knew I was pregnant, and I met guys at work and online.

I probably dated 15 different men while I was pregnant, and their responses to finding out I was with child were about as varied as you can imagine.

But all in all I feel very lucky that I’ve found someone who respects and cares for me.Another date was totally confused about how I could have sex while pregnant. I burst out laughing and told him he probably wasn’t big enough to worry about that.“Well, everything still works down there," I explained. A lot of the men I dated actually respected that I was working and supporting myself on my own.This guy seemed sweet and a little nerdy: a math student “trying to learn how to adult,” whose interests included transhumanism, gender, and “writing angry essays on the internet.” In short, he sounded like my kind of person.When I came out as trans at 14, part of me believed I was resigning myself to being alone.

But all in all I feel very lucky that I’ve found someone who respects and cares for me.

Another date was totally confused about how I could have sex while pregnant. I burst out laughing and told him he probably wasn’t big enough to worry about that.

“Well, everything still works down there," I explained. A lot of the men I dated actually respected that I was working and supporting myself on my own.

This guy seemed sweet and a little nerdy: a math student “trying to learn how to adult,” whose interests included transhumanism, gender, and “writing angry essays on the internet.” In short, he sounded like my kind of person.

When I came out as trans at 14, part of me believed I was resigning myself to being alone.

He even tried to get me to order food for him (indecisive much? But our mutual eccentricity kept the jokes, anecdotes, and trivia flowing between us long after we left the restaurant.