Love spanking chat rooms

18-Dec-2019 22:25

(There are several different forms of spanking, including disciplinary, role play, playful, sensual and sexual/erotic; at SSNY parties, participants are encouraged to stay away from sexual and erotic play.) Although a bondage community began flourishing in the '80s, spanking isn't really bondage; though, as one spanko told me, "it could be considered sort of like a gateway drug to it." But those gathered at the SSNY party are, for the most part, like Gary: They aren't so much getting off on having their asses slapped as they are fulfilling a need. "If spanking is sexual, it ruins my head space," Jules tells me a few days after the party."It's like if a woman who had a rape fantasy suddenly had a guy going, ' Are you OK? Sex ruins the fantasy, and if it's not 100 percent not sexual, it feels like incest." (At the same time, Jules admits that she fantasizes about being spanked when she masturbates and that she's gotten wet while being spanked.) Still, people do not, for the most part, have sex at the parties, nor do they tend to pair off and have sex afterward. Time and time again, the spankos I interview tell me they were fascinated with spanking from a young age and thought they were alone with this obsession."When I spoke, half the room went nuts and the other half lost interest." The half that went nuts grew into an actual community as the Internet flourished throughout the '90s, and Margaret, who declines to give her age but admits to having a grown son, began throwing parties with her husband.

I soon find myself in a conversation with Gary, a 47-year-old switch who's an actor and sometime caterer.

There are a few younger people: I spy a 20-something girl mulling her options by the raffle table and another one who could be even younger munching on Swedish fish next to a table piled high with snacks. But this isn't any old mixer, as evidenced by the name tags, which reveal information far more relevant than just names: red tags are for bottoms, blue tags are for tops, and yellow tags are for those who switch between the two.

The man who determined we're under 45 is a top and is also probably the most handsome man in the room -- though, it should be noted, this is not a group that's going to be confused with the one lining up for fashion week at Bryant Park.

It's a question that doesn't seem to have easy answers.

Logic would dictate that the need is Freudian: that spankos were spanked as children and eroticized that abuse.

I soon find myself in a conversation with Gary, a 47-year-old switch who's an actor and sometime caterer.There are a few younger people: I spy a 20-something girl mulling her options by the raffle table and another one who could be even younger munching on Swedish fish next to a table piled high with snacks. But this isn't any old mixer, as evidenced by the name tags, which reveal information far more relevant than just names: red tags are for bottoms, blue tags are for tops, and yellow tags are for those who switch between the two.The man who determined we're under 45 is a top and is also probably the most handsome man in the room -- though, it should be noted, this is not a group that's going to be confused with the one lining up for fashion week at Bryant Park.It's a question that doesn't seem to have easy answers.Logic would dictate that the need is Freudian: that spankos were spanked as children and eroticized that abuse.A vanilla." The reason I'm standing on the third floor of the Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Center in the West Village defending my kink-free life is that Jessica, a playwright I know, has brought me here after swearing that this was a community worth writing about.