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30-Oct-2019 12:35

By that time, many find that not just sex but everyday existence has become a life-deforming challenge.

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Not only is Sullivan bafflingly confused about nature and its realities, as Colin Dickey notes in this instructive Twitter thread, he's being appallingly conventional.

#Me Too has gone too far, he argues, by refusing to confront the biological realities of maleness.

Feminism, he says, has refused to give men their due and denied the role "nature" must play in these discussions.

(Here's a very unscientific Twitter poll I did that found just that.) But when most women talk about "bad sex," they tend to mean coercion, or emotional discomfort or, even more commonly, Debby Herbenick, a professor at the Indiana University School of Public Health, and one of the forces behind the National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior, confirmed this.

"When it comes to 'good sex,'" she told me, "women often mean without pain, men often mean they had orgasms." As for bad sex, University of Michigan Professor Sara Mc Clelland, another one of the few scholars who has done rigorous work on this issue, discovered in the course of her research on how young men and women rate sexual satisfaction that "men and women imagined a very different low end of the sexual satisfaction scale." While women imagined the low end to include the potential for extremely negative feelings and the potential for pain, men imagined the low end to represent the potential for less satisfying sexual outcomes, but they never imagined harmful or damaging outcomes for themselves.

Not only is Sullivan bafflingly confused about nature and its realities, as Colin Dickey notes in this instructive Twitter thread, he's being appallingly conventional.#Me Too has gone too far, he argues, by refusing to confront the biological realities of maleness.Feminism, he says, has refused to give men their due and denied the role "nature" must play in these discussions.(Here's a very unscientific Twitter poll I did that found just that.) But when most women talk about "bad sex," they tend to mean coercion, or emotional discomfort or, even more commonly, Debby Herbenick, a professor at the Indiana University School of Public Health, and one of the forces behind the National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior, confirmed this."When it comes to 'good sex,'" she told me, "women often mean without pain, men often mean they had orgasms." As for bad sex, University of Michigan Professor Sara Mc Clelland, another one of the few scholars who has done rigorous work on this issue, discovered in the course of her research on how young men and women rate sexual satisfaction that "men and women imagined a very different low end of the sexual satisfaction scale." While women imagined the low end to include the potential for extremely negative feelings and the potential for pain, men imagined the low end to represent the potential for less satisfying sexual outcomes, but they never imagined harmful or damaging outcomes for themselves.The real problem isn't that we — as a culture — don't sufficiently consider men's biological reality.