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08-Oct-2019 16:02

Even the mistrust (both of self and others) that sometimes creeps in is rational, given the sense of shock and betrayal that often accompanies facing the reality of what the person you once viewed as good potential relationship partner is really like.Survivors of relationships with covert-aggressors, narcissists, or psychopaths sometimes say they feel “paranoid.” But most of the time, what they really mean is that they’re experiencing a rational and understandable yet terrifying degree of unsureness and mistrust.Being in and coming out of a relationship with a significantly disturbed or manipulative character can be quite traumatic.And I’ve posted some articles on the major hurdles toxic relationship survivors face when trying to pick up the pieces and move on (see, for example: and related subsequent articles).And we also become “conditioned” to our instinctive emotional responses to the trauma.It’s not uncommon for trauma survivors to “re-live” and to obsess and ruminate about the most emotionally painful events over and over again.The child will regain a normal sense of safety and ability to handle him/herself, once they’ve successfully discriminated these things.

And the more insidious or intense the trauma, the deeper the wound and more difficult it is to heal.

The only good news about having PTSD it is that because of its nature, it’s also one of those conditions that with proper treatment enjoys a relatively decent rate of amelioration.

Many relational abuse survivors suffer from post-traumatic stress (although not all post-traumatic stress rises to the level of a diagnosed “disorder”).

One of the major things learning theory tells us is that we never really “unlearn” anything.

It takes a lot of “counter-conditioning” to weaken the painful bonds developed between the traumatic events we experienced and our emotional responses to them.

And the more insidious or intense the trauma, the deeper the wound and more difficult it is to heal.

The only good news about having PTSD it is that because of its nature, it’s also one of those conditions that with proper treatment enjoys a relatively decent rate of amelioration.

Many relational abuse survivors suffer from post-traumatic stress (although not all post-traumatic stress rises to the level of a diagnosed “disorder”).

One of the major things learning theory tells us is that we never really “unlearn” anything.

It takes a lot of “counter-conditioning” to weaken the painful bonds developed between the traumatic events we experienced and our emotional responses to them.

And this is particularly distressing when it’s not in their normal nature to be feel this way.